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8/9/2006 Hello AllThis has been a busy week for me, I hope everyone has been well. I've been working on my sleep (sounds silly, I know, but getting some sleep has become a huge priority for me). I've managed to cut out caffeine after 1 p.m., and it's actually helping. Yay! I also made it to church on Sunday, which was wonderful and so needed. I have got to get my life whipped back into shape!
Another priority: getting Meaghan into school. I fall at an in-between place for school purposes... I earn too much money for Meaghan to be eligible for the Head-Start program, but I certainly cannot afford to send her to a private pre-school. In my area, there is a School Readiness Program for 4-year-olds, and Meaghan qualifies for that, but I am having a transportation issue now. She's been accepted into the program for the school district in which we live, but she goes to my mom's for daycare & that's in a different school district. It's an afternoon class (11-3:30) and there's transportation provided within the district, but since she's in a different district while I'm at work, I'm sort of out of luck. Now, the school district where my mom lives has the same program, but it's full and kids from that district, of course, are a higher priority for the class than kids from other districts. Anywho, I'm trying to get this resolved. She needs to be in school.
Speaking of which, Meaghan and I have been enrolled in various school programs since her birth (Early On, a program for premature babies, was the first program, along with Begin with Babies - they sort of go hand-in-hand, and we had the same worker for those programs, until Meaghan was 3... then we transferred to Start Smart because she still had some behavioral issues). This evening, we met with Michelle from Start Smart for some "ages & stages" testing... Meaghan did really well and the need for her to be in school was confirmed by the tests, so wish me luck on that front!
I had a bit of sad news today, also. My friend Crissy's husband is from India, and his mother (who still lives there) recently had some serious health problems. I had a message from Crissy that her father-in-law passed away last night, which came as a big surprise to everyone. Please keep her family in your prayers. Her husband has not seen his parents in several years, since coming to the US. I cannot imagine what he must be going through.
Looking ahead... this is a busy time for me, tomorrow I am working a long shift to cover for someone who is on vacation. This weekend, I have a huge family reunion on Saturday and then my dad-who-raised me wants me & my sister & brother to bring our kids and stay over at his new house that evening & go to Lake Michigan on Sunday. I would really like a free weekend someday, but this should be a good time. I just have to remember to get new batteries for the camera!
Now, I need to get to bed... I hope everyone is well - take care & God bless!
4/29/2006 FearPsalm 49:5
There is no need to fear when times of trouble come, when enemies are surrounding me.
I confess to fear at this moment, and much reflection. When I got to my mom's to pick Meaghan up this afternoon, I asked my mother if she had plans for the night. She said she was waiting for her doctor to call. I asked if she was still having the same pain she'd been having (in her back), but it wasn't that. She had been having shortness of breath, nausea, a heaviness and pain in her chest, and had almost passed out a little before I got there.
I recently read an article about women's health & the symptoms of heart attack in women, which was given to me by the person who does the CPR/First Aid training where I work. The symptoms my mom described just fit, and I told her she needed to go to the ER. My stepdad was hesitant (I don't think he has much respect for anything I have to say). He said they should just wait until the doctor called. Um, No. So I called her doctor's office (yes, I can be pushy and annoying, I know it). I told them my mom's symptoms and that I thought they sounded like heart attack symptoms to me, and the woman I spoke with told me that mom should go to the ER so they could do the necessary test to rule out heart attack at least.
Now, I would have taken my mom to the hospital myself, but I'm feeling rather lousy today. I just can't shake this upper respiratory bug. I'll get into that later though.
My stepfather is sick too, and took the day off work today to go to the doctor, so I know he wasn't really feeling like driving into the city (the good hospital is about 45 minutes from where my mom lives), but I felt like I just couldn't make that drive safely myself & I also felt that since he's her husband, he should really be the one to take her. Were I married, I would assume that if something was wrong with me, it would be my husband who would take me to seek medical help, not another family member. I do plan on going up to the hospital tomorrow.
The good news is that the EKG was normal. They are testing her blood now for a certain enzyme that would be there if she were having heart trouble. I don't really know all the details, as I wasn't there & I don't know a lot about heart disease. All I do know is that women really have to advocate for themselves when it comes to heart disease. My grandma (mom's mom) had heart disease, so I just feel like this is not to be taken lightly.
So, tonight she has been given morphine for the pain and is on oxygen so hopefully she'll get some needed rest.
Tomorrow morning, she has a stress test and some other testing. I intend to go to the hospital in the morning so I can be more informed.
Anywho. Tonight I have felt fear, after all the rational thought is swept aside for a moment. My mom was only 4 or 5 years older than I am now when she lost her mother. I am not ready to be motherless. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but I need my mom. So tonight though I have prayed, I will continue to worry... a big problem I have... I just don't give my burdens up easily.
I'm trying to remain hopeful. I must. I think I will have to seriously consider finding alternate daycare for Meaghan to help reduce my mom's stress. This won't be an easy thing either, but I am feeling it is necessary at least for the time being. I suppose I may be a little hasty in that thought; after all, my mom very well may be just fine. But if there is anything going on, I'm going to have to be prepared. She will need to be able to focus on herself.
I am so tired, so drained, and as I plan to wake early to head to Grand Rapids, I suppose I'll say goodnight.
Have a blessed weekend. 3/30/2006 SadnessI have been following the story of a little girl, about 5 years old, who is the child of a doctor who used to work at the office where I currently work. He had quit his job before I started mine, so I never met him, but many people I work with know him and his family. Quite some time back, an All-staff email came out with a link to a blog written by this little girl's aunt.
The child had cancer. She was very sick for a very long time, and then last fall there was some hope. Her parents had even enrolled her in preschool. Then she began to have pain again and they took her back to the doctor only to learn that the cancer had spread to her vital organs. The family has been trying to keep her comfortable and trying to do with her as much as they can, things she enjoys doing.
The family all caught a cold over the weekend, which made breathing difficult for this brave little girl. She passed away yesterday morning at 3:15, with her mother and father lying next to her.
I cannot fathom the pain this family is in right now, and ask for your prayers. I know the child is in a better place and I know that her pain is washed away now, but as a mother I don't know how a parent survives the loss of a child. I am keeping her parents, and her little brother, and all the other family who was so supportive during her illness, in my prayers & I ask that you would please do the same. I don't know the family, but I know God can offer them comfort and that is what I pray for them now.
Also, please take a moment to reflect on the blessings in your life... My child is sometimes annoying and tries my patience, but she is also my world and I love her so much. She is my greatest blessing, and there are many others which I normally take for granted. Today, I am trying to see these things for what they are, and in the midst of sadness, offer up my praise as well.
God bless. |
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